Dear diary for you.

26th April 2012, 11.05 am, 1.5 cm

Finished our McD breakfast and i am in the delivery suite with her, being her companion at the side, share the excitement, nervous but couldn’t share her pain, or maybe yes, 1/1000000… of it when she holds my hand so hard…

4 pm : 3.5 cm, 4 hours gone, and its great to know that there was an improvement, she were so excited that this time definitely she’ll make it…

6 pm : 4 cm, it was kind of depressing for her knowing there’s so little improvement after 2 hours… Doctor came for inspection and told us at most we have another 2 hours to go… and 2 hours gone just like that. 8 pm : 4.5 cm, doctor came in & recommended for c-section, just like your brother, considering the safety of her and you as the priority. “No no no…i want to try…please give me more time…” it may sound a little stubborn, but i know why she insisted to try after agreed by the doctor, we were given another hour. Right after that split minute, she felt like pass motion, and of cause I’ll have to inform the midwife about it.

Midwife came in, it’s around 8.15 pm. Guess what? 7 cm. That was pretty surprising. Quickly the doctor was being informed about the situation. 8.35 pm, doctor checked, 9 cm. What’s next? She took her deep breath and started to push as long as she could within a single breath. 3 times, i remembered, till her face gone pale. And 8.43 pm, there you go.

I will never forget how hard she tried just to bring you & your brother to this world, not to count the past ten months, just that single moment, what she did for both of you was indescribable. I promised you, my babies, I’ll love her till my last breath, take good care of her when she spent all her time just to take good care of you. Be like her, be strong, and i know you’ll.

“Life is not about making us proud. Be yourself, be happy. “

From your beloved dad.

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